[Libre-soc-dev] additional signs of massive stroke damage

[Luke Kenneth Casson Leighton]

I have observed not just the symptoms of PTSD
but of very specific neurological damage.

I was violently assaulted (physically as well
as verbally) about five weeks ago. I had observed
multiple neurological symptoms occurring
immediately (loss of balance, stumbling,
items dropping out of my hand if out of sight)
but missed one that is only detectable after a
long period: a loss of initiative.

prior to the violent assault five weeks ago which
resulted in over 20 minutes of hypoxia, being
unable to either speak or move as my associates
argued aggressively, I was able to take initiative
and write scientific papers, and more.

I wondered why I have not written anything, nor
paid crucial debt payments online. it occured to
me that this lack of initiative, which occurred
at the height of the stroke damage caused by
the abuse and psychological torture, is back
once again.

additionally I have had my host pay for some poi
(£4.50, a small sum). I love them and am using
them as part of neurological recovery (i.e. they
are not a luxury, they're a medical tool)

I expected to find clear symptoms, but
am distraught to actually identify them.

I have - used to have - an extremely advanced 3D
spatial awareness capability. hence why I love and
enjoy juggling and poi, skating, and martial arts,
as well as 3D printing and CAD development.

that ability also obviously aided me in my work.

today re-trying a particular pattern I used to find easy
(turning my body 90 degrees every few rotations
of the two poi) I found I was very confused and
was *unable* to model the movement of the poi.

that indicates extremely serious damage.

I used to be able to imagine, in my head, in 3D,
where the poi would spiral, such that I could
then do it and be confident and happy that the
poi followed the anticipated path.

on attempting to "activate" that ability I know I
have had since aged 9, I found that it simply
wasn't there. there was instead a "dark" feeling.

the poi routinely hit my body, they ended up in
different directions: I was completely unable
to model the pattern.

I then tried with a single arm, following the
"training" pattern I had used to learn the trick
12-15 years ago: it didn't work. I still could
not follow the path, instead found I was
relying on the physics - the "feedback"
from my hand and arm - to keep the poi
from hitting my body.

this is a really distressing finding.

l.



-- 
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geometry: without it life is pointless
the fibonacci series: easy as 1 1 2 3
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